Ten years ago today, I turned on my computer praying I could find someone who could understand the turmoil in my heart......
You see, I was a new birthmother and although I knew I made the right decision for my baby, my heart was breaking at the same time. I knew there had to be someone out there who could relate. I began typing adoption related words into my search engine and finally found an "Is anyone out there?" post on adoption.com that was written by another birthmother named Lani. So excited to see another birthmother of a similar situation I quickly typed up the following message,
"Hi. I just read your post and I'm new birthmother too. I gave birth to my son on September 20, 2001, just 4 days after you gave birth to your daughter. Our adoption is also open. I bet we are feeling a lot of the same things and maybe could help each other through it. Hope to hear from you soon."
(Yep, Lani saved the email.)
When I typed that email, I just wanted my heart to stop hurting. I wanted to breathe without hurting. I wanted to laugh again. I didn't realize what a big part of my life that person behind the other screen would become. Now she has truly become (as she so eloquently puts it) "the sister God let me choose." She's "my person." (If you watch Grey's Anatomy you know what I mean.) She's laughed with me during the happy times and cried with me during the sad.
Happy 10 year Friendaversary, BFF! You've put up with me for a decade now! I'm so glad God gave me you!