My birthday is less than a month away and I will be growing another year older. So far, growing older hasn't bothered me that much. I mean, it's just a natural part of life and not much I can do about it so I try not to grumble about it too much. Besides, as I grow older I feel like I just grow into "me" more.
But with Noah, it's different. My big fear is him growing older. It's scary and it's unknown territory, uncharted waters. I am sure some of it is the normal feelings that every Mother has when their baby is growing up. They fondly remember the days when their "baby" was actually a baby and may long for them again. But for the most part, for me, I don't think it's that.
Asa my friend's children get older, they will worry about college, their children moving out, career paths, their child getting married and eventually they will celebrate becoming grandparents. My worries won't be exactly the same. As Noah gets older, he gets heavier. There is going to come a time in which I can no longer lift him, what then? He won't go to college, instead we are already discussing vocational centers for disabled adults. He will go to one on those. And he'll always remain with us.
On the bright side, I won't have some of the same headaches that some of my friends will as their children grow older. I won't have to worry about how to pay for college or if he is behaving in his first apartment. My worries will be different.
But for now, I will continue to try not to worry too much about the future because I want to cherish today.
Photo: One of my favorite pictures from Noah's birthday last year.
It seems like you are already starting to look at the golden lining!
ReplyDeleteI think you're right - as mothers, we ALL worry about our children, and we all have fears about what the future will hold. Hang in there, and keep being the "Polyanna" personality we all know and love! *hugs*
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