Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Because he's My Child
People often tell me what a great Mom I am and how they don’t know how I do it. But the truth is I often don’t feel like a great Mom at all. The truth is most of the time I feel like I am barely scraping by. I make mistakes and lots of them, I call my Mom or BFF late at night having a mini breakdown about something I’m worried about, and I worry – A LOT – about the future. I stress that I’m not doing enough, that I’m not good enough, and that the mistakes I’m making are huge mistakes that will scar him for life.
But I’ve learned that I’m not that different from Mom’s of typical children. While I’m struggling with wheelchairs, IEPs, and what not, they are struggling with teen and tween attitudes, homework, teaching their children to keep their rooms clean and do chores. We're all struggling to get our kids up and out the door on time, to care for them when they are sick, and to provide them with a good childhood full of unconditional love. And why do we all do it? Because they are our children and we love them to the moon and back. The struggles are different but they are struggles just the same. We all do it because they are our children – it’s that simple.
My version of a great Mom is someone who puts her child’s need above her own. She accepts the struggles and challenges and does what she has to do for her kids even when she’s exhausted and would much rather be sleeping, soaking in a hot tub, or doing something for herself. Most of us are good Moms because they are our beloved children and it’s just what we do; it’s just hard for us to see that.
The next time someone says “I just don’t know how you do it,” I’m memorizing the chorus of this amazing song by Jennifer Shaw and I’ll respond by saying:
"When those eyes are looking up at mine,
Every trial, every fear in that moment disappears
And you realize that it's all worthwhile,
When it's your child."