Monday, August 15, 2011
Technically a High Schooler
Technically, Noah is in the 9th grade and technically that’s high school. But since he goes to a special needs school and it’s not really sorted by grades, he is much more technically a 9th grader than a typical 9th grader in the local high school.
It’s been bittersweet for me. I’m aware of what his life is like and what the life of a typical 9th grader is like and sometimes those differences punch me in the gut. But ya know what? It’s OK for me to admit that! For the longest time, I felt like if I got sad about the things Noah couldn’t or wouldn’t be able to do because of his disabilities that I was in some way being a bad Mother or dishonoring him, but I have learned that I’m just being real. It doesn’t make me a bad Mother or make me love Noah any less to acknowledge that there are experiences that he is missing out on. I don’t dwell on them but now I do at least acknowledge them and realize it’s OK to feel that way.
But in my usual fashion, I tend to play Pollyanna and try to find the positives in life. There are some definite positives for me as a doting Mom of having a special needs 9th grader versus a typical one.....
1. I can still put a note in his lunch box. (That would be so un-cool if he were a typical 9th grader.)
2. He still rides the bus and loves it and even blows me kisses from the bus! (When I was in high school, it was not cool to ride the bus.)
3. I can still make treats for his class and give his teachers gifts.
4. I still pick out his clothes.
5. He still wants me involved and at school functions.
Maybe those are just trivial things to some, but to my Momma heart they are special and I’m gonna cherish these moments and be glad that I have the extra ones.