Grateful to be his Momma

It’s Friday – the day where I join other bloggers and take five short minutes to just write from the heart. Five Minute Friday is hosted by Gypsy Mama and this week’s prompt is grateful. 

I am grateful for so many things in my life but in light of a heartbreaking conversation with my son that I blogged about earlier in the week and other events that have been going on in the news and in life in general, I think the thing I am most grateful for at this very moment as I’m typing this post is my motherhood to my precious boy and my precious boy himself. 

I’m grateful I’m able to be a mother. I admit, I want more. We’ve tried to have more children which resulted one baby we named Darcy who went to Heaven’s nursery before she was even born and then two more miscarriages after that. But I’m coming to the realization that more children aren’t necessarily in the cards for us. And that’s ok. I will be grateful that I am a Mother and just be the best one I can to my Noah. 

And my Noah…. Gosh, where do I begin with how grateful I am that he is my son? I have made many mistakes along the way but he is just amazing all the same. Sometimes I just watch him sleep and my eyes fill with tears and I think, “how did I end up this blessed.”  And there are times where being his Mother is SO hard. When he is in the middle of an autistic meltdown, I think “why me?” But then I remember those moments where I am overwhelmed at how blessed I am to be his Mother and it gets me through. 

I am also grateful for all the things I have been able to watch him do. As the Mom of a child with special needs, I often feel like I’m present at a miracle when he does something for the first time. When he first started commando crawling, the first time he said “Mama,” when I watched him try so hard at Special Olympics in the wheelchair race; all of those were little miracles in my book and I am so grateful. 

I am so grateful and humbled that God chose me to be this little boy’s Momma.