It’s Friday – the day where I join other bloggers and take five short minutes to just write from the heart. Five Minute Friday is hosted by Gypsy Mama and this week’s prompt is new.
When I think of the word new, one of my first thoughts is of a new baby. More importantly, MY new baby. With Noah technically starting high school this week, I've been thinking a lot of those early days; the days where I where he was a new baby and I was a brand new Mom.....
I was young (19) and scared but I also fell head over heels in love with my brand new baby the moment I saw him. Noah was born early and with lots of complications which later resulted in his Cerebral Palsy diagnosis and I only got to see him (but not hold him) for a quick second (which is when my Mom snapped the photo above) before he was whisked off to the NICU. Hours later, I was able to see him in the NICU and I remember just staring at this brand new little person - the brand new little person I had helped create. I was in awe and I was head over heels in love. Over the next few days, I visited my new baby in the NICU as much as they'd let me and as he struggled medically, I struggled with the overwhelming feelings of being a new Mother. I remember thinking at that moment, that I would do anything for that child, I'd die for him if need be and I remember being startled by those thoughts of a little person I'd just met! But that is the love of a Mother. When a child is a born, a Mother is also born.
Years later, my feelings for my son aren't new and I'm certainly not a new Mom. I've had nearly fifteen years (ack!) to grow into this role but my feelings are just the same! I'm still head over heels for that little boy (ok, he's not so little anymore but he will ALWAYS be MY little boy!) and I'd still do anything for him.
Writing this has brought this quote, by Maureen Hawkins to mind....
"Before you were conceived, I wanted you.
Before you were born, I loved you,
Before you were here an hour, I'd die for you.
This is the miracle of love."
Beautiful! I'm a NICU nurse and I think my mother heart now feels so heavily for those mom's who are so separated from their babies and so scared by everything that is going on. I can't imagine the newness of a baby plus the newness of a scary NICU! My heart goes out to all mom's who have to go through that.
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